Respect for one’s point of view

Respect is defined one way as a deference to a right, privilege, privileged position, or someone or something considered to have certain rights or privileges; proper acceptance or courtesy; acknowledgment: respect for a suspect’s right to counsel; to show respect for the flag; respect for the elderly.

I know several of you have read my reply to Nick’s blog post. I am praying that it made you go back to thinking about what you believe and what you (YOU) think about the Muslim people. The other point was to somewhat defend the statements made by Nick toward the American people….oh yeah and the rednecks too.

My attempt to discuss this on a serious level has failed. I wanted to share my point of view along with his. When it started going left, Nick was the first to reply with a line – maybe we should discuss it offline. I agreed – whole heartedly, and awaited the time. I had the hope that we could seriously sit down – him share his story so I could get a better understanding of his point, and then I share my point with him. This, however failed miserably. I will apologize for that now.

I had a few notes on things I wanted to discuss with Nick after he shared his story with me.
My notes:

It is interesting that when Christ told us to “Love your enemy” He also told us “to turn the other cheek” which in my view means to not become like your enemy.

The people of the Islamic faith are the “Enemy of the Lord” and for that reason more than any other they are the enemy of all professed Christians. If you had made the effort to truly witness Jesus Christ to them, there would have been no doubt as to their true feelings toward you. Because of their beliefs, they cannot have any respect or kindness toward professed Christians. In other words, they will not tolerate your belief if it is in Jesus Christ. If we compromise the faith of the Lord, even our own scriptures say that we are guilty of Spiritual Adultery. As much as we believe that the Lord Jesus is the exact truth, they believe that the Lord Jesus is the exact untruth. So, How can two walk together except they agree?

It is interesting that Jesus said, I did not come to bring peace but division. Matthew 10:30 / Luke 12:49 Lord! What are you talking about? If you follow Jesus and your neighbor chooses not to follow Jesus that is a division. This is why Jesus said, “If you do not love me more than, wife, children, father, mother, Matthew 10:37.

“YOU CANNOT BE MY DISCIPLE!” Luke 14:26,27,33.
As Jesus told us to relate to Him, the Islamic believer relates to Mohammed
Jesus in effect asked Peter, “Peter do you love me more than these?” John 21:15.
It will some day come down to every living christian, “Do you love the Lord more than life itself? Martyrdom is nothing new to the Christian experience. The fear of martyrdom will cause many professed Christians to return to secret worship. I do not think that open Christianity will be permitted in the not to distant future. It is very clear in the scriptures, “If you are not with Me, you are against Me.” Matthew 12:30.
Yes all this can be scary!

Nick, came across my Uncle’s post which was his point and say. He, though not directly at Nick, made his point as best he could with his beliefs. He is a very proud American, Veteran, and the father of a 3 tours to Iraq son who still serves this great country unselfishly. So he was entitled to a post as much as the next person.

Today, I read a post on Nick’s blog that kind of caught me by surprise. I felt we were to the point it was getting to “rough” and we would do the “sit down talk”. I found he had posted:

Patriotism and Righteousness
Posted by Nixter on June 17, 2008
Wow, I really think I’ve hit a nerve here. Well one things for certain, when you start talking about loving your enemies you’re gonna get the chance. I think I’ve offended the American Pride of an entire family from West Texas to Ohio. Like I’ve said before, loving people isn’t ever going to be easy but it’s exactly what Jesus told us to do. So, that’s what I’m gonna try really hard to do.

In my effort to be completely fair and present all sides of the issues, go read for yourself. You be the judge. http://clarksite.com/?p=423 , http://clarksite.com/?p=424 and http://countyroad13.com/?p=24

Peace

The comments toward my Uncle’s spelling and grammar disappointed me somewhat to say the least. I must admit the rest of the comment wanted me, even more, to sit down and discuss this before it got to far out of hand. Instead, I found the post to be disrespectful to my entire family. With the statements made, I felt as though my family was declared his enemy, with a sarcastic tone. (One of the many reasons we should have sit down). I was keeping this between Nick and I – I also thought we had an agreement not to go any further online. I guess my Uncle’s post upset him.

So, I asked Nick to transfer his domain to another host, as opposed to mine. I do not tolerate my family – no matter their point of view of my friends, Muslims, fast food joints, or anything else. They are family and I love each one of them dearly.

I emailed Nick the following email:

Nick,

I am afraid this has went to far. I should not have even cared what you thought about the Muslim people, much less how you view the American people. I meant nothing personal by it, but I guess my trying to get my point across – failed. Nathan, I believe that is who posted the comment, has really disappointed me.

Maybe we’re just not as cultured as the two of you. Maybe we do need to take and English grammar refresher course. Maybe we should let you both reflect, and we go on about our ways. Maybe we are not the friends we thought we were. You know my family, or I thought you did, but I question letting someone turn it into a personal match – as you have.

In fact with the last post, and it’s comment. I am going to do something I am sure you can author a great post on. I will assist you in transferring your domain to another web host. I will ensure that your WordPress database is backed up and transfered as well. I know…it is kinda “my ball – I’m going home” type deal, but it has now become completely disrespectful and a childish game – I choose not to play. I will also ask that you remove the links to My blog, Jace’s blog, Jack’s blog, and Craig’s blog. We are family – that should say enough. I will tell you that I have called and made sure they understand the request for you to remove the links from your site…I would tell you to call them yourself, however I am not sure you would want to allow your cultured ears to hear the words they may say.

You have the freedom of speech, thank God and those that defend it here in this country – but do not wish to host anything that disrespects my family. You have freedom to say whatever you wish, but not to link to sites without the permission of the owners.

It’s whatever you want it to be Nick, but I choose not to be a part of it. I feel that our friendship has taken a damaging hit over this, and for that I a sorry.

In prayer,

James

I am sure it can be called a “childish” move on my part, and for that I apologize as well. I was sitting here after making my decission, emailing Nick, and pondering our differences and how we got to this point. Hoping we could mend the friendship, go back to playing guitar and songwriting, etc.

Then I got an email from him. Which I will just answer here on this site for all to see. So that I can get this over with and behind me. Here is Nick’s email to me:

OK man,

You need to back up and think about this whole thing. I know that I opened up Pandora’s Box by even bringing up my newly found Muslim view point but you jumped in head first and stirred it up as much as you could. Your first response to my initial post I believe was titled “Nick’s World View…Distorted”. I would say that’s a little childish and disrespectful, but I laughed it off and went with it. As I recall you thought it was pretty funny yourself. Several of your comments in every single one of your posts/comments were childish and disrespectful, but I laughed them off and went with it. It’s pretty apparent that you pointed my post out to your uncle and his post was ridiculously disrespectful to me, and again…I laughed about it and went with it. So, I’m a little confused about your response. I think it’s interesting.

I choose in my blog to allow all comments unless they are graphic in nature and completely vulgar. It’s apparent that you don’t do the same, but it’s your blog….you can do what you like. To be honest I would prefer to keep the tone respectful but you broke that barrier the moment you posted your piece….days before Nathan posted his. So, again I think it’s interesting.

If you choose to sever the “friendship” that we have over something that my brother-in-law said then it’s apparent that there wasn’t much there to begin with. In addition I would like to point out that your wife asked you if we were still friends after your first post…not mine. Does that bring anything to light about this whole deal?

As for your comments about my professing following Jesus around Muslims….in every single Muslim home that I ate in, I talked about the fact that I follow Jesus. And without fail, I had more intelligent, respectful conversations than the ones that you’ve been a part of with me. And they all disagreed with my following Jesus. So you might want to get your facts straight.

If you truly want me to completely sever all references on my blog to you guys, I’ll respect your wishes. If you need to transfer my domain to someone else, just tell me what I need to do. Just know that no matter what, it doesn’t have to be this way. Know that my love for you is unconditional…and I’m not just saying that in my “self-righteousness”. I love you like a brother and I always have, you can’t change that. Tell me when you’re past all of this because I’m fine and I’ll be here.

So..do what you’ve got to do.

Love ya,

Nick

Nick,

First of all I was a bit confused as to your first post and wanted to share the invite to discuss it. So, as you do to my replies….I will break this email down into most of the topics you point out.

I’ll start with “Your first response to my initial post I believe was titled “Nick’s World View…Distorted”.” This makes it read more like I was making a statement that your view was in fact distorted. Now, please forgive me, I don’t have a degree, nor a very educated background in grammar or marketing, but I put four question marks after the word distorted with the classic “LOL” in hopes of showing it was a questions of “Is it distorted or not?”. The “LOL” was to show I was not mad at you. I feel that if people are laughing then they are happy. Maybe I should have titled it.

“Nick’s world view. Is it distorted? I’m not mad. Just want to share what I got out of it and my view point.”

I honestly thought I would get across with that. So, I was wrong there – I apologize.

I will not dispute that some of my comments did not deliver the way I wanted them, and yes they came out childish and disrespectful. To this I apologize as well, and hope that does not come out as a “piss poor” excuse.

Next, I’ll go with “It’s pretty apparent that you pointed my post out to your uncle and his post was ridiculously disrespectful to me, and again…I laughed about it and went with it.” No, sir. I did not point out your post, nor mine to my Uncle. I never gave it thought. He reads my blog when he has time, and he is a subscriber to it. My blog is for friends and family…just like it says somewhere on the blog itself. Has been that way for several years…four years I think. You can read the very first post in the archives…I think it mentions it there.

For that point – I hope there is no apology needed. I will say I am sorry you thought that, as if I needed someone to back my point of view. With all due respect to my Uncle, whom will understand this when I state it – He would have been far down on the list of people I would have picked to help me get my point across. Love you Uncle Jim, hope you understand…keep blogging.

We’ll address this one next…“I choose in my blog to allow all comments unless they are graphic in nature and completely vulgar. It’s apparent that you don’t do the same, but it’s your blog….you can do what you like. To be honest I would prefer to keep the tone respectful but you broke that barrier the moment you posted your piece….days before Nathan posted his.”

Yeah, I curse, dip, do a lot of stuff that is just not up there on the “nice things” list that some people have. My family – they’re pretty much the same way. I do hope to convey that I am who I am…and that I don’t come across as a hypocrite to anyone. You’re right though, it is my blog and I can do what I want. Funny, you’ve said that about my life once before. LOL I honestly did not mean to take the tone to a disrespectful nature. For that I apologize as well. I was only trying to discuss this with the words, phrases, beliefs, and education level I have. I think when I used the sentence about ” self-rightous” point of view it was wrong. So, I agree with you.

Moving on in the longest post record of Clarksite.com:

“If you choose to sever the “friendship” that we have over something that my brother-in-law said then it’s apparent that there wasn’t much there to begin with. In addition I would like to point out that your wife asked you if we were still friends after your first post…not mine. Does that bring anything to light about this whole deal?”

I never thought I was severing the friendship. Just stated it has caused a damaging blow to it, as I personally felt it has. Looks like it takes two to tango here as well. However, I stand by my statement…I will not host anything that disrespects my family. For that matter, have you ever known me to put up with anything disrespectful about my family? Do you recall Stephen Forrest, whom I still call friend and brother in Christ – when he made the comment about my step-sister being Morman? Do you recall how it was disrespectful and hurt my feelings. I discussed it with him, but I did not tolerate it either. I don’t care for her faith, and her life, but do not disrespect her. Maybe it’s just me and my country ways.

I did tell you my wife, after reading my reply, stated something to the fact “are ya’ll still friends?” She was being sarcastic, sorry I did not get that across to you as well. She, and several others that visit my home and read my blog on a regular basis made other comments. “Are you and Nick still fighting?”, “Are the great debaters at it again?”, “Y’all need to kiss and make up!”. All of them in a loving, yet sarcastic way. So I will apologize for this, and well as the ones you just read. I would let those all go, even if you don’t with the comments I made, those were merely out of poking fun at me mainly. I laughed and went on when I heard them.

It sheds a lot of light down on this. It shows me how wrong this has been taken, the needed sit down before it got this far, and the true feelings you were harboring about this all – instead of letting them go when/if we would have ever sat down to discuss them. Instead – one up my childish statements and disrespect my family. No apologies on that one bud.

Next…
“As for your comments about my professing following Jesus around Muslims….in every single Muslim home that I ate in, I talked about the fact that I follow Jesus. And without fail, I had more intelligent, respectful conversations than the ones that you’ve been a part of with me. And they all disagreed with my following Jesus. So you might want to get your facts straight.”

Praise God! I was in the mindset that was why you were going over there. Yet, I only heard that you read a book, ate with them, and maybe 10 minutes of talk about your time there. Of course we discussed your oldest son, but I glad you did. This points out, also, they are true to their faith…which is…well …what I was trying to point out while saying we don’t “hate” them. I am sorry our conversations about Christ don’t measure very high with you. I can not honestly echo that statement. To that, I most sincerely apologize. My facts, however, I think you got from my notes on what I wanted to discuss in person. When I said “had you made the effort to truly witness Jesus Christ to them, …”. Since I had not known you did, only hoped you did, I did not know. That is why I had it in my notes. I wrote my notes in a “personal letter format” so that I could maybe make another point to each of us after we talked – knowing we would have come out at the end – still friends, and better understanding each other. The “secret” point was going to go something like “Nick, let me read these notes I had and show you why I think my point was not coming across very well. (I would read them – the ones you have are not finished). See…” Then I would have pointed out that to my knowledge you read a book and had a good time….the extent of what I knew, and made other points as to why I was not coming across well. To that – I apologize as well.

…and the last point:
“If you truly want me to completely sever all references on my blog to you guys, I’ll respect your wishes. If you need to transfer my domain to someone else, just tell me what I need to do. Just know that no matter what, it doesn’t have to be this way. Know that my love for you is unconditional…and I’m not just saying that in my “self-righteousness”. I love you like a brother and I always have, you can’t change that. Tell me when you’re past all of this because I’m fine and I’ll be here.

So..do what you’ve got to do”

I would appreciate you doing just that. Actually, I took the liberty of doing it since I had admin rights on the server. None the less, thank you for respecting my wishes. To transfer you domain – find a cheap host – I use Host Gator (hostgator.com) for hosting, and GoDaddy (godaddy.com) for domain registration. I would recommend them. You’ll only need a personal hosting account not a dedicated server account – unless of course you just want one.

I feel it has to be this way on the hosting. I think that is what you were referring to? Maybe I just can not read and comprehend well as I think I can.

I love you too. You could have made the point without the “self-rightous” remark ( to clarify the self-rightous quote) though.

I will not disrespect you, anymore that I guess I have, on this or anything. I will forgive you in due time I know. Right now, it is hard because of the statements, and confusion. So it will take time. Sorry, that I take it so seriously, and even though you seem you do with comments and posts, you act as if you don’t.

So, to all the readers. I hope this finds closure. I have ended it on my end, as far as the posting. I ask for the following in y’all’s how’s that for a word???!!! LOL prayers”

Nick comes to a better understanding of my stance on this and accepts my apologies.
That we all come to a better knowledge of the scripture.
Everyone offended by this – is brought to peace.
Nathan – understands my stance and accepts my apologies.

Thanks.

James Clark